Haunted...

Haunted....

It has haunted my life all these while, the entire time.......it just fails to go away, to vanish, to disappear.....

It has made my life a total disaster all the time, self-consciousness, an absolute weapon to kill my level of confidence, hurt physically and also emotionally.......

Why you just never go away? How can't you haunt my life all this time? You are only making me suffocated and desperated......

I just wish i will not see you anymore.....

Here, 'it @ you' referred to as ...... P-I-M-P-L-E-S!!!!!!

Because of you, i felt self-conscious whenever and wherever i am, be it in front of all my friends, or among the crowds on the street.... i don't know how to face my friends and the people around, i just too care about how people will think of me, and how they will say about it, when i look into the mirror, i born to hate myself, therefore, i need to apply make up to conceal you!....T_T

Because of you, my level of confidence are killed, almost to a NIL sometimes...... T_T

Because of you, i always feel the undesired pain on my face, everywhere it grows, everywhere i feel the disgusted pain! the inflammation, the redness, the cyst....... so horrible it left me totally suffocating! T_T

Because of you, i spent lots of money in order to cure you...hoping you will leave me alone one day....but you are NOT, but exaggerate my situation. How could you??? T_T

Today, 30th day of September, 2009~ because of you, today has become a very memorable day to remember.....
I went to consult the skin specialist, Dr. Wong to undergo a blood test at 8am early in the morning as appointed by doctor yesterday.My dearest mom accompanied me along. I was told by
doctor that i was having severe type of pimples disease currently, which indicated the last degree of severeness of pimples! Oh my God! I was totally flabbergasted when i was told so. I could not believe that my pimples were that severe....! Luckily, the doctor told me there was a cure for it, but it takes a longer time to cure, and with a level of discipline and medicine prescription, it only will work.

It was right now, i was lying on the bed in the clinic room, the doctor came over and tied a piece of cloth around my right arm. I was extremely scared and nervous as i never undergo blood test before. He asked me to cough twice. When i coughed, he already poked the syringe into my right arm and pumped out the blood in a small bottle-size syringe!! hohoho, that 2 coughs were merely a distraction! So smart la the doctor! hiak hiak hiak

I also underwent a urinary test. Everything's went on smooth. Medical report was out on 11.30am, as told by doctor that everything's fine. Thanks God!

Afterwards, i was prescribed with lots of medicine which need to be consumed as well as applied externally. walao eh!! the whole consultation, blood test and medical fee cost RM678. Oh My God! It was so damn expensive like hell! I felt guilty and sad that my mom had to spent such large sum of money on my medical fee, just because of the stupid pimples which caused me to be in such situation. Haizzzzz

Last but not least, my only wish for now and always, wish IT will get out of my life! I don't wanna see you anymore!!!


~cath~n_n

Singing?!

Hola! It was a beautiful sun shinning Tuesday, 1st day of September!!!

It was a very wonderful day to remember in my life not only because it was meaningful to my dearest friend@sister, but also the most unforgettable day in my life! HaHaHa...

1stly, it was my roomate@sister@best friend's 19th birthday!!!
a day right after MERDEKA!! i wondered if she were born on national day, she would have received more privileges?!...lolz..."anak merdeka"!!!

We gave her a birthday surprise at Station One, genting kelang here. i still remembered how a group sisters of four to six of us had tricked her to Station 1 by using some ridiculous excuses such as Yier and her sister, Ying Ying said that they could not join us for dinner together as they had to go to church for some designing stuffs while ah mao said he scared of getting fat, so decided to skip dinner ; Shi Yi might be working late that day; so there were lian, me and xuer who accompanied her for dinner that day..^^ moreover, the 3 of us still have to delay our time for the preparation of cakes at Station 1 by Yier them all by going to the groceries shop nearby to buy some cookies and snacks. (start to feel funny already as the plan worked out). As we finish purchasing our snacks, we were there to inform the birthday gal suddenly that xuer had to go to take something from Jordan at Station 1. (LIEEEEE) lolz... this was when the birthday gal really DOUBTS...lolz

Here we are, at Station 1... "Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to Hwee Teng, Happy birthday to YOU!!!" the song was sang by us to the top of our lungs!!! Laughters filled the whole atmosphere ^^ joyfulness + cheerfulness + happiness + HUNGRINESS...yeahyeah, it's ordering time right after cutting cakes! ^^

So co-incidently, Candy @ 谢婉婷 was coming for some kinda 'fan-socializing'. Some of my friends didn't even know her. keke...^^, i knew her when i was still secondary school as if not mistaken, it was my mom who told me about her and she ever came to Miri before too. ^^i even spotted her at college as she ever came to our college for promoting her album, i guessed. I was told by my friend that Candy was just sitting opposite me on the benches in canteen 2. lolz
well, that night, she came over and sang a quite melodious chinese song. Indeed, her voice was great! ^^

Besides that, she also offered to those who were interested to ask her any questions. It turned out that my housemate- ah mao, to my surprise, he went up the stage to ask her question! wow, how brave he was! lolz... afterwards, there was a session where she requested 3 persons to come on stage to interview and sing a brief chorus of a song. There were 2 group been randomly chosen to send a representative to go on stage to sing. The 1st rep was a boy who sang chinese song, so were the 2nd gal from the same group. One pretty funny slogan that Candy has said that night was "朋友是拿来利用的". That really made me laughed and i was completely agreed with that saying! 100%! coz it happened to me NEXT!!!

Well, it was time for the last rep. Candy asked to send out a rep from our group. Initially, we already discussed to play a fool on the birthday gal, and supposed she should be the one who sang on the stage! However, to my total shock, all my friends pointed and screamed out my name loud instead! "Cath! Cath!" Oh my Godness! You are all betraying me! how could you ? i really didn't wanna go on stage, but i was forced to did so as Candy and other crowd were anticipating me to go on stage. I was speechless and eventually went up the stage.

I still remembered my feeling at the moment. I was embarrassed to walk up the stage, but to my own surprise, i felt very calm instead as i was given the microphone to speak. Even Candy said that i appeared to be totally calm and relax while i was on stage and asking me question like ," have u ever been in singing competition?", she even asked my gang of friends if i were really good in singing, they just nodded and cheer for me! That made me more shy then... #_#... afterwards, i was asked to introduce myself and right after that i gotta sing a brief chorus part of a song. In moments of nervousness, i finally chose to sing chorus part of Avril Lavigne's 'Complicated'. As i sang along, i saw the crowd in front of me were like following the beat of my song, that was when i start to enjoy my singing! lolz... right after i finished, i received thunder of applause from the audience, and honestly, that feeling was extremely awesome!

Candy gave me her album as rewards. I really appreciated that pretty much. Then, there was the lucky draw session. ehem ehem... deng deng deng! heartbeating moments were few minutes to go...keke... we were announced that there were 3 prizes worth RM500 cash voucher each to giveaway. Who would be that lucky contestant then? hiak hiak hiak....

the 1st one, oh my God! it's a 19th year-old-boy! it was my housemate ah mao!!! wow! congratulations! here came the 2nd one, oh my God again! it was ME!!! unbelievable! i have never been so lucky in my life before! Never in any lucky draw i have joined won any prizes, not even consolation prizes arrr! but tonight was completely different! i was totally flabbergasted as Candy announced my name! {i suddenly felt like i'm a lucky star on that night!} aha!

i even took some pic with Candy and got her signature on the album too! In short, today was really a memorable day which i have never experienced it before in my entire life! i'm pretty enjoying it and it brought me lots of happiness and confidence as well! hooooorayyyyyyyy!


~cath~n_n