catherine-avrilgurlzz

Wish you were here....

2011-12-05T16:52:00.000-08:00

'Damn Damn Damn, what i'd do to have you here here here, I wish you were here....'

Too bad, you'll never be right here with me on my special day, which is one of my most special day of the year....

I happened to accidentally scratched my knee through the tap water in the toilet at the college exam hall right after the sitting for my professional paper, ACCA P7 yesterday. It ached and it bleed.... Gosh! What a bad luck day! Firstly, i could not do my paper well at all, i lost idea to write fromt the beginning of the questions paper. I could hardly write the answers coz i did not understand the requirement of the whole questions that i kept on reading the questions over and over again.... still, i struggled, and eventually forced myself to crap every single thing i could to fulfill the blank pages left untouched on my exam booklet.

Somehow, there was a good thing covered this disappointment after all, my dearest friends threw me a surprise birthday celebration at Kenny Rogers Restaurant where we all behaved like kids. So happy that we were having funs together, it's that moment been captured, to be stored in my memory, which could last forever.... =)

Then i came home, how excited and surprised i was to see my bunch of girls sitting in my room and chit-chatting! I could not help but quickly settle down on my bed and joined the girls' talk. It's pretty fun though! (^_^)

Nevertheless, this happiness did not last long until i received an sms from a guy whom i had a crush on... i was totally shocked and stunned for a moment as i read that message. He said he'd go to overseas to work for a week the next day and he ended the message with a birthday wishes to me. I suddenly could not take it because it happened too unexpectedly, out of the blue! The saddest thing was that he was leaving on my birthday! Although i did not expect him to be with me together on my birthday, somehow this sudden leave got me so sad and disappointed.... & my whole plan for the coming days was like kinda crashed and burned.

I was totally disappointed to see the calendar on my desk on the day he's gonna come back is the date where i'll be leaving here pretty soon. Any unforeseen circumstances and destined fate could cause me to lose the chance to see him again.... it's pretty sad though, there's nothing i could do about it.... hopeless on my pre-birthday night....

The difficulties of the exam paper, the wound on my knees and the shocking news.... how terrifying to find out all these stuffs to spoil my mood for my beautiful day! Nevertheless, it's memorable enough though... T_T

Now i believe what the God messages to me in facebook was true, 'Sometimes the easiest way to LOSE something is wanting it TOO MUCH...' This is too good to be true as here i am, the one who experienced this situation right now.

A lesson learnt here, i should have expected LESS, Let LOOSE, and let things happen naturally as they're supposed to be. I should have believed that everything will be DESTINED, instead of trying hard by put in lots of effort to change it.... Maybe the easiest solution will be letting God to decide for me coz i'm tired already.

One word, 'Natural'...

Prayers are Heard...^_^

2011-05-12T06:32:00.000-07:00

The beautiful Thursday sun shone its light onto my face as i was still in my dreamland. The curtain in my room was left open since last night as weathers recently were terribly hot.

I was awoken afterwards, walked down the stairs and sat in my living room listening to the morning radio. It was when a sudden thought ran across my mind..... 'It's Thursday! one of my most anticipated & nervous day ever! "

It was the day of exam results release! How nervous i was as i was checking my results on my college website. The line was damn busy as it lagged till i kept refreshing the page for a few times.
i could feel butterflies in my stomach at that moment and kept praying while awaiting the results to be displayed on the webpage.

Finally, it appeared on my screen! I was looking at the tv while it suddenly appeared! immediately i ran close to my computer screen, ecstatically happy to find that i PASSED all of the papers and far better than i've expected! OMG! I started scream like hell and jumping happily as if like a little kid finally got her candy! LOL

Thanks God very much for the blessings and i knew my prayers were heard by God. Deep in my heart, i appreciate very much. Because of God's blessings, i deserve to have everything i have now.

谢谢神的保佑.

Pray

2011-05-11T05:39:00.000-07:00

Here i am, close my eyes and pray...

I pray for God's blessings and i wish my prayers are heard.

" God, i wish that ......................................................................................................."

Thanks God blessed Me.

Shattered....

2011-04-16T16:16:00.000-07:00

It was on the 16th day of April, 2011... approximately 5 o'clock in the morning, i forced myself to wake up so badly, and walked to my living room and grab my Advanced Performance Management notes to study.

My eyes were tired and teary... i have been studying so hard all these days and weeks... reading the notes & practicing the past year questions... i tried so hard coz i wanna pass all the exams this semester in order to graduate successfully & making my dream come true. My dream is going to United Kingdom to do my (Hons) Degree in Accounting & Finance for a period of 3 months.

It was 9am when the exam officially started... i walked into the venue and picked my seats with number 100 ~ Ridiculously, i thought this seat number can give me tons of luck and score 100 marks perhaps in the exam.... too bad... it....

The moment i flipped through my exam paper during the 15 minutes reading time given, i was calm & enthusiastic as i saw almost all the questions looked familiar to me as they are all exactly the same as in the ACCA past year questions i had done earlier. i grabbed my mechanical pencil and wrote as much point as i could and highlighted any important points which i thought i might overlook.

Here it is, it was precisely at 9.15 am shown by the clock hanging on the wall above the white board, the facilitators gave signals of the commencement of the exam. Alright, cath's ready~ ! Go!

I was holding the paper and grabbing my blue Faber-Castell pen, resting my right hand on my answer booklet. The clock on my watch was ticking every single second and minutes i was reading the questions. I had done praying to God for blessing me in the exam before i started to do the question. Wish that He could hear what i say to him ^^

To my astonishment, i watched the time go by every second, i still have not start to write anything at all, looking at the surrounding, the candidates started to press on their calculators and count! What the hell with me? I could not write anything, even when i tried hard to. This was when i really started to get so PANIC, hands started to shake, feeling of coldness rushing through my whole body, breathing deep desperately.... Oh My God! Why couldn't i write anything? Why my mind seemed to be as blank as the paper on my answer booklet? This time i just realized i was really stuck, suddenly a thought came to my mind of giving up coz i struggled myself so badly just to write a few words and do some small part of calculations which took up so long time to do it. Watching the time passing by got me in big trouble ever!

I could not focus as i panicked too much. I tried so hard to calm myself down but it was futile. Another negative thought blinked in my head saying, 'Cath, it's totally impossible now for you to fulfill your dream of going to UK and graduate...." & that's when i felt so disappointed with myself and thoughts of giving up persist to exist in my mind.

Somehow, i regain my consciousness to back to the reality world to continue with my exam questions. It was when i flashed back the memory on my experience of having P2 Corporate Reporting exam, either internal or external exam, i struggled so badly during the exam process, umpteen times of "give up" thoughts came to me. I could just stand up and leave the exam venue during the moment. Nevertheless, i fought back such negative mind and persist. My perseverance made me finish my exam, though some are left undone. Miraculously, the result was satisfying enough to make me laugh and cry as it was totally out of my expectation! Thanks God for such miracle!

Therefore, back to that moment i was sitting for my APM paper, this same thought flashed back to me, thinking i might have a sparks of hope as long as i tried my best to write and finish the questions. It was till the last minute, precisely at 12.15 noon, i was instructed to stop writing and tie the answer booklets altogether. Although i did not complete it, some were left undone, i believed that i did try my best out there.

As i walked out from the exam venue, i felt relieved coz the exam was finally over. Somehow, deep down, i felt extremely disappointed with myself and started to feel so hopeless as i could see my dream has gone shattered because of what i had undergone today. I had performed so poor that sparks of hope to chase after my dream was totally disappear. I felt hopeless because my total confidence has gone in a wink. Dreams are shattered, minds are confused, emotions are down and hopeless.... There's nothing i could do but to P-R-A-Y... Will there be any miracle from God this time? Although it sounds unknown in the future, i believe that God knew i had tried my best out there to complete the task instead of giving up. Thanks for his strength in guiding me back to reality and fight!

In a nutshell, my results is in God's hands. I closed my eyes and pray... wish myself good luck then :-P ~ Thanks God Blessed Me ^^

"When you speak from your heart
and say the words
your soul has only closed to whisper,
That's when miracles happen...

~Cath~n_n

Afraid

2011-03-26T06:18:00.000-07:00

Staring out my window, looking at the people walking around on the streets, with their couple & kids..... how beautiful that moment could be when you get to see the happiness in their eyes....

Wishing i could be one of them in the crowd, having joy in such sunny day....somehow, only to find myself sitting at my room and thinking something which i thought i should not have been giving a thought about it at all...

i should not have fallen into the trap you said earlier, i thought it's not gonna happen... somehow, it seems to crystallize gradually... i wish it did not happen... never...

What the hell with me? why just couldn't i let go? why couldn't i just pretend i feel nothing? it hurts a lot when i have to pretend i don't mind at all & to support your view. Sometimes i wish i could beg you not to mention about the person, or even non-stop praising that person in front of me, coz it frustrated me so much and most of all, silently enough, my heart aches deeply. i knew you would not have any idea how i feel right now.... i thought i will never tell you about this at all, not now, not in the future, forever...

This was when recently i felt there was a gap between us, you might don't know about that, but i do. i don't feel like talking so much to you, as i was afraid i will accidentally hear you saying about that person again, my heart will ache again.... i feel myself keep stay away from you, coz i was a.f.r.a.i.d & that feeling was indeed desperate! & it damn SUCKS!

i wish i could give myself some time to wash all this stupid & crazy thoughts away for a moment, i don't wish i get unhappy because of this stupid thing. Maybe i think too much, but it just sometimes inevitable where i happen to become the victim in this game. I will try hard to let go & keep holding on ~ i believe i can make it!

You're Right

2011-02-14T07:30:00.000-08:00

Thinking back what you said to me.... it kinda sound like getting real... i should have trusted things you said to me, i was awakened by some thoughts lately, what i used to not believe in things that you said, i started to believe...

You're right... i really feel the way i suppose to feel when it happens as what you've told me earlier... there's no such thing like what i think & expected, so cath, please stop been naive & innocent, even though there's nothing u can do about it!

I felt like i'm growing into a kinda different person recently, i feel like myself acting strange, thinking strange, feeling strange... everything seems STRANGE... how suffocating is it i have to ACT like nothing happens... it hurts when i am trying to pretend like i feel nothing, it hurts when i am trying to pretend like i don't care at all, it hurts when you make me feel insecure coz of the way you do to people surrounding you.... i know you will never find it out coz you never meant to notice & so i know i'm not going to tell you anyway, let it be kept a s-e-c-r-e-t forever coz this is not gonna be a happy ending story...

In short, all this while, i have been lying to myself, so i guess i should start to forget about all those J things, stop relying so much on you, i can handle myself even without you, i believe i can do it without you!

Most Anticipated !!!

2011-02-05T07:21:00.000-08:00

It's been another long period of time since the last time i uploaded my last post here....
just suddenly i got in the right mood to drop a few words here...

what i have anticipated so much ever since is....
Avril Lavigne's upcoming 4th album!! "Goodbye Lullaby" which will be released in March this year.

Her new hit single "What The Hell" which was released worldwide on the last day of 2010 during the 'Welcoming New Year 2011' ★ Avril was performing at Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve, NYC ★

How excited i was during the moment i listened to her complete version 'what the hell'. I am so glad that Avril is BACK finally after all these years i have been waiting for her to release another new record.... here she is! yeah!

in short, cath is damn ANTICIPATING for upcoming album in march right now.... !!!! yeah yeah!

CATHERINE.....

2010-03-03T05:33:00.000-08:00

Wow! it's been such a long time since the last time i wrote my blog... Kinda busy lately... many unexpected things happened too, especially in year 2009. There were sweet memories, so were the worst memories ever. The 1st year of advanced diploma in commerce (financial accounting) which is the course i'm currently pursuing, what i could comment was that "it's pretty TOUGH!" During the 1st semester of the year, i still managed to handle it, but somehow in virtually danger and hazard as i found myself barely passed my taxation paper. Thanks God a million for blessing my 1st semester result. The unfinished questions in my English paper already killed my confidence so greatly and pretty a big disappointment i ended up with. Honestly, if it was not because of God, I would not have been so lucky to pass all my papers. As i got into the 2nd semester, i found the studies were even tougher than before. This is quite an obvious fact to almost everyone. To my dismay, i found myself getting lazier and less concentrate in studies instead as i started to fed up of the books and words.

Although this semester only consisted of 4 months, which can be considerably short period fo time, however there were too many things happened within these 4 months time. Firstly, I have learnt that been into a relationship was not a piece of cake. It requires pretty lots of things like communication, trust, understanding, tolerance etc to keep a relationship going and to persist. It would never happen like a sweet fairy tale story where the pair of couple would live happily ever after that i used to read and watch when i was still a naive and innocent little girl.

Secondly, it was such astonishment which got me totally stunned when i suddenly got insulted so badly by a person because of my own English name "CATHERINE" and my religion which has nothing to do with him or his life at all. The worst was that he treatened me at the same time.

He said i should not celebrate Christmas because I ain't a Christian and I could not use my "CATHERINE" name as this is considered illegal and unholy. What on earth is he saying?I have so many Christian friends who treat me pretty good all the time and been around them indeed make me happy and smile, especially a girl who happened and come into my life, she brought a lot of happiness and joy to my life. Her constant emotional support and accompany cheers me up and make me able to go through the hardest time. She is XXXX, a fan of the cute character "Eeyore" from Winnie the Pooh cartoon. ^^~~Continue~~ What on earth is he saying? His words could piss a lot of people off. Agree? He is shooting tons of non-christian people who owns English name. The next thing was he sent me a threatening and CURSING message to my facebook inbox. You try to guess what he says? He said that i am worshipping dirty, stinky indians as God and insulted me for being so stupid. He even insisted that i am not supposed to use the sacret name coz I am a pariah who worships indians and no wonder my skin looks like them. He even insulted me by saying that i am low class, smelly and pathethic whore(prostitute=pelacur)! It really hurts so deeply and to the extreme... a deep stab in the heart.... and lastly, he ended with such CURSING words to ask me to "GO TO HELL" highlighted in capital letters. WOW! Curse me to go to hell? I am not doing any murdering or cursing, why should i go to hell, why not him?

God or Jesus has the eye for every deed a human does on earth. He would able to see who is good-hearted and the bad-hearted one. Although I am not a Christian, I believe that Jesus will protect and bless those who do good deeds and of course the innocent. Jesus does not like to see his people cursing, discriminating others. He would rather see his people been helpful, kind, pray for others and forgiveful. God will only bless us if we live in peace and harmony towards one another.

It was even more interesting when he texted me in sms saying that he would SLAP me in the face the next time he saw me. Wow! That would be a pretty amazing live show to watch then since it's going to be a bastard slapping an innocent girl's face for nonsense! Perhaps he was just too scared to admit that he himself was wrong after all! Really ASHAMED!!

Last but not least, this was the 1st time i experienced such horrible thing, been threatened and cursed by someone for nothing. Somehow, I have learnt the real character he owns behind the mask he was wearing now. It was my biggest mistake in my life for having a friend like him. This was when the friendship really broke. Once was FRIEND = Now is ENEMY. What an interesting story has begun.... ^^

Haunted...

2009-09-30T00:10:00.000-07:00

Haunted....

It has haunted my life all these while, the entire time.......it just fails to go away, to vanish, to disappear.....

It has made my life a total disaster all the time, self-consciousness, an absolute weapon to kill my level of confidence, hurt physically and also emotionally.......

Why you just never go away? How can't you haunt my life all this time? You are only making me suffocated and desperated......

I just wish i will not see you anymore.....

Here, 'it @ you' referred to as ...... P-I-M-P-L-E-S!!!!!!

Because of you, i felt self-conscious whenever and wherever i am, be it in front of all my friends, or among the crowds on the street.... i don't know how to face my friends and the people around, i just too care about how people will think of me, and how they will say about it, when i look into the mirror, i born to hate myself, therefore, i need to apply make up to conceal you!....T_T

Because of you, my level of confidence are killed, almost to a NIL sometimes...... T_T

Because of you, i always feel the undesired pain on my face, everywhere it grows, everywhere i feel the disgusted pain! the inflammation, the redness, the cyst....... so horrible it left me totally suffocating! T_T

Because of you, i spent lots of money in order to cure you...hoping you will leave me alone one day....but you are NOT, but exaggerate my situation. How could you??? T_T

Today, 30th day of September, 2009~ because of you, today has become a very memorable day to remember.....
I went to consult the skin specialist, Dr. Wong to undergo a blood test at 8am early in the morning as appointed by doctor yesterday.My dearest mom accompanied me along. I was told by
doctor that i was having severe type of pimples disease currently, which indicated the last degree of severeness of pimples! Oh my God! I was totally flabbergasted when i was told so. I could not believe that my pimples were that severe....! Luckily, the doctor told me there was a cure for it, but it takes a longer time to cure, and with a level of discipline and medicine prescription, it only will work.

It was right now, i was lying on the bed in the clinic room, the doctor came over and tied a piece of cloth around my right arm. I was extremely scared and nervous as i never undergo blood test before. He asked me to cough twice. When i coughed, he already poked the syringe into my right arm and pumped out the blood in a small bottle-size syringe!! hohoho, that 2 coughs were merely a distraction! So smart la the doctor! hiak hiak hiak

I also underwent a urinary test. Everything's went on smooth. Medical report was out on 11.30am, as told by doctor that everything's fine. Thanks God!

Afterwards, i was prescribed with lots of medicine which need to be consumed as well as applied externally. walao eh!! the whole consultation, blood test and medical fee cost RM678. Oh My God! It was so damn expensive like hell! I felt guilty and sad that my mom had to spent such large sum of money on my medical fee, just because of the stupid pimples which caused me to be in such situation. Haizzzzz

Last but not least, my only wish for now and always, wish IT will get out of my life! I don't wanna see you anymore!!!

~cath~n_n

Singing?!

2009-09-10T22:12:00.000-07:00

Hola! It was a beautiful sun shinning Tuesday, 1st day of September!!!

It was a very wonderful day to remember in my life not only because it was meaningful to my dearest friend@sister, but also the most unforgettable day in my life! HaHaHa...

1stly, it was my roomate@sister@best friend's 19th birthday!!!
a day right after MERDEKA!! i wondered if she were born on national day, she would have received more privileges?!...lolz..."anak merdeka"!!!

We gave her a birthday surprise at Station One, genting kelang here. i still remembered how a group sisters of four to six of us had tricked her to Station 1 by using some ridiculous excuses such as Yier and her sister, Ying Ying said that they could not join us for dinner together as they had to go to church for some designing stuffs while ah mao said he scared of getting fat, so decided to skip dinner ; Shi Yi might be working late that day; so there were lian, me and xuer who accompanied her for dinner that day..^^ moreover, the 3 of us still have to delay our time for the preparation of cakes at Station 1 by Yier them all by going to the groceries shop nearby to buy some cookies and snacks. (start to feel funny already as the plan worked out). As we finish purchasing our snacks, we were there to inform the birthday gal suddenly that xuer had to go to take something from Jordan at Station 1. (LIEEEEE) lolz... this was when the birthday gal really DOUBTS...lolz

Here we are, at Station 1... "Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to Hwee Teng, Happy birthday to YOU!!!" the song was sang by us to the top of our lungs!!! Laughters filled the whole atmosphere ^^ joyfulness + cheerfulness + happiness + HUNGRINESS...yeahyeah, it's ordering time right after cutting cakes! ^^

So co-incidently, Candy @ 谢婉婷 was coming for some kinda 'fan-socializing'. Some of my friends didn't even know her. keke...^^, i knew her when i was still secondary school as if not mistaken, it was my mom who told me about her and she ever came to Miri before too. ^^i even spotted her at college as she ever came to our college for promoting her album, i guessed. I was told by my friend that Candy was just sitting opposite me on the benches in canteen 2. lolz
well, that night, she came over and sang a quite melodious chinese song. Indeed, her voice was great! ^^

Besides that, she also offered to those who were interested to ask her any questions. It turned out that my housemate- ah mao, to my surprise, he went up the stage to ask her question! wow, how brave he was! lolz... afterwards, there was a session where she requested 3 persons to come on stage to interview and sing a brief chorus of a song. There were 2 group been randomly chosen to send a representative to go on stage to sing. The 1st rep was a boy who sang chinese song, so were the 2nd gal from the same group. One pretty funny slogan that Candy has said that night was "朋友是拿来利用的". That really made me laughed and i was completely agreed with that saying! 100%! coz it happened to me NEXT!!!

Well, it was time for the last rep. Candy asked to send out a rep from our group. Initially, we already discussed to play a fool on the birthday gal, and supposed she should be the one who sang on the stage! However, to my total shock, all my friends pointed and screamed out my name loud instead! "Cath! Cath!" Oh my Godness! You are all betraying me! how could you ? i really didn't wanna go on stage, but i was forced to did so as Candy and other crowd were anticipating me to go on stage. I was speechless and eventually went up the stage.

I still remembered my feeling at the moment. I was embarrassed to walk up the stage, but to my own surprise, i felt very calm instead as i was given the microphone to speak. Even Candy said that i appeared to be totally calm and relax while i was on stage and asking me question like ," have u ever been in singing competition?", she even asked my gang of friends if i were really good in singing, they just nodded and cheer for me! That made me more shy then... #_#... afterwards, i was asked to introduce myself and right after that i gotta sing a brief chorus part of a song. In moments of nervousness, i finally chose to sing chorus part of Avril Lavigne's 'Complicated'. As i sang along, i saw the crowd in front of me were like following the beat of my song, that was when i start to enjoy my singing! lolz... right after i finished, i received thunder of applause from the audience, and honestly, that feeling was extremely awesome!

Candy gave me her album as rewards. I really appreciated that pretty much. Then, there was the lucky draw session. ehem ehem... deng deng deng! heartbeating moments were few minutes to go...keke... we were announced that there were 3 prizes worth RM500 cash voucher each to giveaway. Who would be that lucky contestant then? hiak hiak hiak....

the 1st one, oh my God! it's a 19th year-old-boy! it was my housemate ah mao!!! wow! congratulations! here came the 2nd one, oh my God again! it was ME!!! unbelievable! i have never been so lucky in my life before! Never in any lucky draw i have joined won any prizes, not even consolation prizes arrr! but tonight was completely different! i was totally flabbergasted as Candy announced my name! {i suddenly felt like i'm a lucky star on that night!} aha!

i even took some pic with Candy and got her signature on the album too! In short, today was really a memorable day which i have never experienced it before in my entire life! i'm pretty enjoying it and it brought me lots of happiness and confidence as well! hooooorayyyyyyyy!

~cath~n_n

Mangoesteen!!

2009-08-06T08:21:00.000-07:00

Mangoesteen! Mangoesteen! Mangoesteen!
Yeahhhhhhh! Yeehaaaaaaaa! Yahoooooooooo!
(fuyoh, seem like so damn HIGH about Mangoesteen!)

Yea! Cath has fallen in Love with Mangoesteen!!!
Ridiculously, 21 years of living on this earth, i have never tried mangoesteen before! NEVER! Huh?????!!!

Ehem ehem, well hmm, since i was young, i have tried many varieties of fruit before, but unfortunately, not mangoesteen although i used to love drawing mangoesteen every time my art teacher asked us to draw fruit during primary school. hehe.... it was just so damn easy to draw and i love the purple colour which i was going to paint on it! so so so CUTE! ^^

It was until tonight, the 6th day of August, 2009, my housemate's dad and mum were coming to KL. They have bought a lot of fruits including Langsat, Longan and Mangoesteen.
Langsat.... I try b4!
Longan....I try b4 too!
Mangoesteen.....of course NOPE!! (first try)

They taught me how to tear the skin off and eat the content. After the 1st bite of mangoesteen in my life, Oh My Goodness! It tasted so so so damn awesome! it was sweet and a little bit sour. Wow, the taste was just so addicting till all my girls laughed at me as i kept on taking the mangoesteen one after one, like non-stopping! haha...ADDICTION! ^^(shy...)

Yeah! I'm loving it!!! I'll buy YOU again ya! Hahaaaaa

~cath~n_n

Embarrassed...#_#

2009-08-04T00:17:00.000-07:00

Oh Gosh! I just did a very embarrassed thing!! Eeewww....!!

In the afternoon of 2nd August 09 (Sunday), i went to KLCC for the PC fair with one of my housemate. The taxi fare was so damn expensive which caused me a little bit frustrated. It took us RM5.00 to reach Wangsa LRT from Genting Kelang here. Wow! Last time it only cost me RM3.50 to 4.00. Now?! Damn it! i just extremely HATE the new law, that is to increase the taxi fares as well as other transportation fees. I wonder what the stupid government is doing!!! Price of everything seems to inflate all the time, NEVER deflate. Do you know this has caused lots of money to be spent by an average resident in the expenses incurred? Sighed........

It was kinda ridiculous to say that after 2 years and a half staying in KL here, i have never been to PC fair before. haha... it just happened to say that either i did not have anything to buy or i am so damn lazy to go there. However, surprisingly, i had a strong urge to go to PC fair today. lolz...

well, i have bought myself a Kingston 8GB pendrive which cost RM50 and a black skull laptop skin which cost only RM18 plus free gift of keyboard protector!! Yeah! There were lots of halls in the KLCC convention centre that crowds were everywhere, it jammed like hell. I saw many tarcians working part time there as well as my classmates! hehe..... Afterwards, i felt totally hungry that rock bands concerts were about to begin in my stomach. To avoid those annoying noise, i quickly went to hunt for food. That was when i saw a long queue at the Auntie Anne! Wow, i was wondering if it really tasted that delicious till so many people were so eager to buy it! Alright, cath was going to give it a try this time! hmm, i bought an original combo which consisted of a regular-sized passion fruit flavour drinks, a chocolate flavour dip and an original flavour pretzel!! After a bite, hmm, it tasted good and fragrant. However, it was very oily! The oil was all over my fingers as i tore it off to dip it with the chocolate. T_T

We finally got back to Wangsa LRT. Suddenly, i decided to go to Jaya Jusco to buy some groceries. Well, the embarrassing incident aforementioned was about to begin here....ehem.. I went to Watson after i bought a brand new pinkish backpack with 'ST. GEORGE' name printed on it at ZING. Indeed, I loved that bag so so so much!! hehe...^_^

At Watson, i bought ladies stuff (pads) shy...#_#....I was queuing up at the counter there as i saw a friend of mine together with his girlfriend passing by outside. Well, hmm, whenever i see my friend, the 1st thing i do for sure is waving at them and smile (^_^)! (Natural response of cath) Too bad, this time was really the most unsuitable moment to greet my that friend! WHY? Guess what? At that moment, my left hand was scouring for my wallet in my bag while my right hand was holding such colourful-packaged pads! 2 packs total some more!! It was when i suddenly turned my head over to glance outside and spot my that friend that i turned to wave at him with PADS IN MY HAND!! Oh My Goodness! What have i just done? Back to reality, i just realized that i waved at him with the 2 packages of colourful-packaged sanitary pads in my hand! GOSHHHHHH! I immediately turned my face away and covered my face with my hair, pretending to continue find my wallet in my bag. I was so damn embarrassed by what i have done at that moment. I wondered if the people around noticed what i have just done moments ago....ooohhh.... T_T. This was when i swore to myself that i would never ever waved to any one again without really checking what i am holding in my hand!! No second time, please!!!!!

Embarrassed....eeeuuuwwwww

~cath~n_n

eMo......

2009-07-30T18:57:00.000-07:00

eMo.... arghhhhhh!!!

These few days seemed like the worst day of my life since last friday. The old disease has back to attack me once again...... sighed...... that's what which caused me so emotional and overwhelmed these few days. I didn't have any mood at all in every single thing i did, all the fears and disastrous feelings from this disease overtook everything.

Today is the 7th day this disease just seemed could not stop attacking me. Gosh!!! I still remembered 2 days ago, my mood was extremely down like hell. I called to inform my mom about what i've experienced lately. when talking to my parents, i really felt so sad as i sensed their concern towards me and i felt hopeless when i talked about this. It has brought big effect on my daily lives.......i just knew that a big sob was enough to release out all these fears creeping inside.

Waking up the next day, i felt much better compared to yesterday. I prayed at night, wish everyting will be better and wish that i can heal as soon as possible.... May God Bless Cath ^_^

~cath~n_n

Convo!!

2009-07-25T10:10:00.000-07:00

It's on the 18th day of July, 2009. I hereby to announce to myself, :'Catherine Bong Chieh Hui has finally graduate with merit officially in TAR college!!'.... Yeah!! The anticipated day has eventually arrived! It's time to throw your hat!! Hoorayyyyyyyy!!

In the early morning, i woke up by my "when you're gone"ringtone alarm. It's my big day! i cooked myself a bowl of Maggie Curry Mee and then put on my make-up. A curl of blackish Maybelline mascara and a paint of Loreal sparkling pink lipstick were what i only put on beside a 2-way foundation. Kee Kee came to fetch me to college as we had to go to college earlier to register ourselves. My parents only would go to college around 9am. We arrived college hall at around 8am and we quickly ran to register ourselves. My number is 39! After registration, we all quickly dressed up in our convo gown. Wow, everyone looked like a lawyer!!! smart daoooooo! hahahaha

My roomate @ best sister~ Hwee Teng had indeed helped me a lot. She helped to bring my parents to college and be my camera girl for the day. She had captured a lot of pictures, she just followed me wherever i went. haha.... pity her...! ^^ Incredibly, she had snapped shot approximately 250 pics!!! LOLzzz

Everyone felt themselves like a SUPERSTAR!! All camera were surrounding them and there's no way to escape!! hehe... unfortunately, the sad thing was some of our friends were in the afternoon session. if not, we all could take pictures together. Luckily, they came earlier just to take picture with us!!! yeah yeah!!! the feeling was so damn awesome!!!

Around 1.30pm, the crowd had dispersed. We went to have our lunch afterwards. It was indeed a tiring but happy day!~ ^^

In the evening, my dad and mom celebrated my convocation at Station One. My cousin and his gf were there too. We all had our sumptous dinner while enjoying the performance done by the singers there. Cheerss!!! A very sweet memory.....^^

Happy Convocation!!!

Touched...

2009-07-25T08:44:00.000-07:00

it's been a month away that i have started to notice the air fares for airasia and malaysia airlines dated within 17th till 20th July 2009. The price was from RM250 onwards and i have been waiting for promotion from air asia since a month ago and there was none of the news at all. Disappointed....Sighed....i had discussed with my parents about the fares. At that moment, the convocation date was not confirmed yet by the college. Therefore, my parents advised me not to buy the air fares 1st. However, when the date was confirmed, so unfortunately, it shocked me as i saw the tremendous increasing price of the air fares. By the time i wish to buy the air ticket, the expensive cost of the fares had caused me and my parents to take some time to think about it and we all are awaiting for some miracle to happen that there'll be some promotion in the coming days.

To our dismay, not any promotion was being made. Furthermore, the price had gone up to RM400-500. We started to get frustrated. That was when i have a thought in my mind that i reluctantly asked my parents not to come to my convocation. They kinda agreed initially. However, as the convocation date fell apart pretty soon, they kept rushed me to keep an eye on the air fares, see whether the price has decreased or not. Unfortunately, it had increased to the highest, RM576. Oh My God!! so damn expensive!!! Last decision was that i insisted to ask my parent not to come as i did not want to waste their money coz it was a very large sum of money. It cost up to RM2000++.

On thursday night, 8 o'clock, my mom suddenly called me on the phone when i was napping since 4pm. I was extremely exhausted as i got home from college. i was so blurred the moment my mom called. i still thought it was in the middle of night that my mom called me. The call really awoke me back to reality that it was still thursday. I was so shocked when my parent said that they wanna come to my convo eventually. I only thought about money that time, so i quickly with no doubts persuaded them and insisted them not to come. Then, it was when i heard my dad and mom suddenly speechless, and i heard my dad whispered beside my mom, saying that "我看我们还是不去了,她都一直叫我们不要去....". Oh My God!! i just knew that my unstoppable persuading towards them have cause such disappointment to them. There was silence on the phone suddenly, i thought they were thinking and sighing... and didn't know what to say to me. This was when i suddenly felt a heartdeep sadness that i have accidentally broken their heart indirectly. Afterwards, i quickly told my parents that i helped them to check the airticket right away and bought it. It was totally bad luck that i was unable to purchase it online as i was informed that it was less than 24 hours.

The next day, my dad quickly rushed to airport to buy the airticket at the airasia counter. i was so touched that my dad called again and told me "阿慧,你不用担心,钱是可以赚回来的,你的毕业也不是说每一次,我们一定会来的." walao eh!!! i was extremely speechless at that moment, i was totally touched by my dad's words. Dad, i was so glad that you told me so, i just knew money is not every thing, is LOVE which matters.

I love you, Dad!
I love you, Mom!
Muackssssss....!!!

Go Italianese!!^^

2009-06-26T08:47:00.000-07:00

It 's entertainment hours!!! Chill out yo! yeehaaaaaaaaa!!! ^^

It was 3 o'clock in the afternoon when our last lecture for the day has finally over! C-H-E-E-Rfullness was what the 4 of us (Me, Edwin, Yurie and Shaun) in the gang who felt so incredibly! We had been so looking forward for the new and hottest movie which had just played theatre yesterday~"Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen". & the day has eventually arrived! Yahoo!!Once the lecture had finished, we set off to Mid Valley afterwards.

There we are!! The 4 of us watching Transfomers!! Wow, i damn love the movie, man!! It was so incredible and marvellous! Every part of the scene seemed to never ever bored me and i was so captivated by the storyline as i kept awaiting what scene will take place next. i just could not take my eyes off each and every scene in the movie, full of action moves from the sexy babes - Megan Fox and the handsome dude - Shia Labeduf who are perfect enough to be the superheroes in the movie. I can guarantee that watching this movie will absolutely cause NO REGRETS at all!

After such awesome movie, we went for a shop in Mid Valley Mall. i spotted a very beautiful and adorable keychain in a gift shop. I'm loving it'! It was a pink key chain with my name 'CATHERINE' on it! It writes :

Ohhhhh, my stomach started to grumble! It's time for DINNER, baby! We were heading towards The Gardens to find something for our dinner tonight. Oh Yeah! We made up our mind to try out italian food at ITALIANESE restaurant! It's our First Time eating here!! hehe....

Here we are, walking into the restaurant...... the ambience atmosphere with bronze dim lights illuminated from the incandescent lamp and lightbulbs. The atmosphere surrounding was so relaxing and soul-calming. The soft music of italianese and the fragrance of their cuisine coming from the kitchen really made me feel so great and comfortable. Now, here i am, looking at the menu which has all their famous and yummylicious delicacies inside. Oh my God! They were so tempting and mouth-watering! I just couldn't help myself with it, man!

Well, after a moment of choosing what we wanna eat, these are the few dishes that we have ordered: (pizza, pasta, grilled chicken milanese, seafood mussels rice, fried squids, ROME cocktails)

Well, the dishes i have ordered is the Grilled Chicken Millanese where the chicken was grilled, with tomatoes and spinach on top with the robster pasta sauce. Oh.... the 1st bite i had was extremely palatable and total satisfaction! Furthermore, i ordered the ROME cocktails! It's my 1st time drinking cocktails in my entire life! This cocktail was so nice to drink as i like the combination of the melon and passion fruity taste inside. In short, this meal for tonight was totally fantastic! This relaxing moments will never be forgotten as it's too memorable and gratifying after all.....^^

~cath~n_n

Cuppa Tea

2009-06-23T09:23:00.000-07:00

A CUPPA TEA??!!!

Yea, it's a cuppa tea!
This cuppa tea is not the tea for breakfast or hi-tea o!!! hehe... it's referred to an underlying meaning instead~which is not the type of favor or like!! i like this phrase very much ever since i discovered its existence in a story book i read when i was still a kid. Indeed, this phrase has made me to express my thinking in a more sincere way instead! yea...!

Recently i was bothered by something which tends to make me getting a little bit EMO sometimes and even uneasy. Perhaps i thought a lot or an issue of sensitivity, which caused me to be in such situation. However, i felt much better as i have a heart to heart talk to my dearest housemates about what i have been through all these while.

Health problems have bothered me pretty much indeed lately, as my body seemed to weaken. Therefore, i really take care of my health greatly, especially my daily diet, i tried to make it as nutritious and healthy as possible. Luckily, thanks for God blessings and my disciplines all these days, my health is getting better by now and i was ecstatically happy that my sickness is recovering gradually!!!

As for studies, so far i still managed to handle as long as i put in lots of tireless effort, i believe i can make it! Yeah! Believe in yourself! "as motivated by the movie CAMP ROCK quotes"!

Unfortunately, something which bothered me recently was that a matter of relationship@friendship. I was not going through any relationship with any of the guys currently, but there were some rumours which i did not really favour at all. Sometimes, we have to be cruel to be true as that's the only right thing left for us to do. As in my situation, when that person is not my cuppa tea, i prefer to maintain the friendship status instead of giving him any sparks of chance. My perception is that if it was not my cuppa tea, i will never ever force myself to drink it no matter how perfect it smells and tastes, or how quality that tea is or even how thirsty i am! I'd rather die of thirst rather than drink that cuppa tea coz i can't find a reason why i should drink it when it did not even suit my taste at all. The only result of drinking that cuppa tea will only end up diarrhea or sense of uncomfort. It has nothing to do with aims or fulfilment, it just the matter of FEELING and SUITABILITY.

Besides that, i think that i'm also a person who cares about my reputation too. I could take jokes but not the jokes which exceed my joking limits. It just made me feel disgusted and revolted. For example, jokes of having relationship with somebody wasn't my cuppa tea. Initially, i could take that as slight jokes and perhaps will keep continue to have fun with it. However, if that joke was made too constant, it tends to irritate me as i am so damn sick of it. In short, i have my own limit in jokes too. Everybody does, so do i.

So, that's it!! A cuppa tea which i meant here...^_^
Friendship Forever......

~cath~n_n

Loving C-A-R-E-S

2009-06-14T08:30:00.000-07:00

Lately, i was pretty concerned with my health as there were many unfavourable health problems happened to me which made me felt totally uncomfortable and agonizing. Indeed, i have been so worried over the past few weeks for my health. Nothing bothered me that much before...... i even consulted doctor twice for my illness and consumed quite many medicines as well. Thanks God that my illness recovered gradually and my nerves were calmed down eventually.

Unfortunately, a weird incident happened few days afterwards. It scared me as i discovered something terrifying as i pooed in my toilet early in the morning. i saw there was blood inside the toilet bowl! Oh my God! What the hell has happened to me? All those creepy thoughts started to crawl into my mind which got me totally distressed and anxious.

The next thing i knew is to go to consult my doctor in the 1st place! My dear Lian Lian accompanied me to the clinic opposite where the consultation and medicine fees have caused me eighty-six ringgit. It has really burnt a hole in my pocket, man!!! I was told by the doctor that i was getting Hemorrhoids. Hemorrhoids are normally present outside the rectum and anus area or just protruding out of the anus. It can bleed and clot causing a lot of discomfort. i was given 30 Hemorrhoids pills to be consumed and 12 suppositories to be inserted. This almost got me insane!!

Furthermore, i got infected with the fever + sore throat + flu viruses about 3 days ago. Shit! What the hell is going on? Why was i so bad luck till all the illnesses came to me at the same time? Moreover, my Hemorrhoids has not fully recovered yet. Within this period of time, i really felt the excruciating pain that almost ate my heart out and it completely got me suffocated. I felt myself like a powerless and weakened patient who is trying hard to gasp for air. The fever made my head hot like boiling eggs; the sore throat caused me to sing like Rod Stewart's sexy voice; and the flu made my nose turn into waterfalls.......

During this period of time, i felt extremely touched...... ^_^
Coz i was touched by the persistent cares and kindness all my dearest friends showered upon me..... one of my dearest sister@roomate, Hwee Teng, she appeared to be playing quite a very important role in my life so far. She has indeed helped me in a lot of things, especially in living and maintain a healthy lifestyle! Her constant care and patience in taking care of me this little patient really made me felt overwhelmed and emotionally touched. She appeared to be a very good nurse after all!!!! Anyone who's sick could hire her as your nurse!!! hehe...^^ besides that, one of my ex-classmate from Group 18~Pei Chey, she has indeed treated me so nice that she cooked 'Luo Han Guo' drinks and bought me a big bottle of 100 plus. Wow, she's so considerate til i was touched by what she has done, coz i really felt her love and cares for me this little friend..... T_T

Thanks God blessed me for my health, my study, and giving me so many nice and caring friends around me who has showered unfaltering emotional care and supports to me when i mostly need it. This has made me totally speechless as i was too touched by you dears, really appreciating it so so so much and i love you, gurlz!!!MUACKSSSS!

Missing you...G18!!

2009-06-01T06:18:00.000-07:00

Deep sigh is what i felt today...

today was the 1st day attending my tutorial classes. i thought i could feel happier or perhaps more exciting part to take place... unfortunately, it did not turn out as what i have expected. i was not disappointed to see my current group 10 members, it was just that one thing which caused me to feel unhappy and sad instead... it was that my heartfelt 'missing you' for my all my former group 18 members.

with my mood now, i would like to write a poem dedicated to all my group 18 members:-

As i walked into the class today,
Cool and silence were sensed like cool Jay,
i wish to see those familiar faces,
which i longed to embrace and to be in races.

My heart start to tumble,
as i wish to see those familiar faces and hear those cracking laughter,
My hopes start to shatter,
as i know from this moment onwards, things are not gonna be the same anymore.

My deep heartfelt 'Missing you' for my dear group 18 members,
i missed you guys so much,
i missed the noise, the laughter, the jokes, the cheers,
i missed the energy, the excitement and the atmosphere,
GROUP 18 have created time ago.......

Recall back those sweet moments together,
really touched my heart pretty much,
which made my heart grow fonder as the missing grew stronger,
although we are all separated in our own pathway,
i know that one thing for sure is
spirit of Group 18 is always there!!!
Group 18 ROCKSSSSS!!!

Last but not least, i would like to wish all my dear respective GROUP 18 members all the best in everything and be the toughest and smartest person in the world! May angels of luck and success surround you guys and most importantly, stay happy always!!!
Muackssss....
to the guys, stay handsome and smartest-looking!!!
to the girls, stay pretty and intelligent ever!!!

~cath~n_n

Growing up...Yeah!!

2009-05-31T05:52:00.000-07:00

Yea, it's time to grow up!!!

Reminiscing back those unforgettable events which had happened to me in the earlier semesters during my diploma year really made me grew stronger and more mature in ways of thinking. There were lots of catchy experiences i have been through within these 2 wonderful years of diploma. For instance, happiness i share with my bunch of sisters i treasure very much. They ever appear in my life journey and have been together with me through thick and thin. i would like to grab this chance to show my appreciation for them, those VIPs are Yier, Lian Lian, Hwee Teng. They have made my life so much happier than ever before and how their unfaltering supports really bring my miserable soul back to the origin. Thanks, sisters!! i love you dearssss!

Besides that, there were also moments which left me suffocating in total despair and grieving sorrowfully. For instance, the friend whom i treasure very much in the 1st place has turned into someone who i barely could recognize! that is a total disaster for me! how could it be? am i insane or sth till i have such mindset? i actually witnessed and going through such miserable moments myself. i ever confront to such friend, telling her about her weaknesses nicely, hoping she could realize it and try to improve her attitude and character. however, to my dismay, she did not but turn out to shoot me back with stupid reasons unsatisfactorily. i was totally flabbergasted by the outcome and disappointment was what i felt intensely and getting so damn emotional. i almost got myself broke into tears but i did not coz i did not want myself appear to be so weak and useless. initially, i thought it was my fault or my personality problem. i was so damn worried about myself. however, as life went on, it was not so bad after all cuz i was told by lots of people about such issue!!! Oh My God!! i could not believe that God is on my side too! Suddenly, i found sparks of hope to pursue my lifetime journey and friendship with others who appreciate me and vice-versa. Thanks God for understanding me!! coz i thought to myself that i was not such a cruel and evil person after all...LOLzzzz

Furthermore, i have learnt heaps of useful enduring lessons to be applied in daily lifespan whereby i was taught to be stronger and more mature than before. Stop being a fool, being too naive, being too innocent, get smarter and brilliant and lots more... thanks for those who walked into my life to give me such disastrous experience for me to go through it!!!

Today is the last day of May, so all these grieveous events will end here. Cath will have her new beginning in the upcoming days. New level of study@ advance diploma, new beginning!!! yeah yeah! rock it!

Here I am!!

2009-05-31T01:05:00.000-07:00

Here i am!!!

ohh, it suddenly reminded me of a song 'Here I am" by Peggy in Camp Rock movie... a very beautiful song for the soul who seeks inspiration and encouragement.

this is once a song which cheer me up when i am in the middle of struggling for supports and inspiration in order to go through everyday life... thanks to this song for inspired me to here so far...

today was my 1st day to write in my own 'catherine-avrilgurlzz' blog here... i'm starting to loving it!!! this might be another good place for me to express my feelings as well as stuff going on in my daily life, be it happiness, sadness, boredom, excitement and so on... these are what makes life so interesting and so memorable perhaps v tons of experience in it to make life greater!!!

well, at least, i'm gonna have a little introduction about myself first of all, im a little girl who was given this 'CATHERINE' name by my lovely parents, who had been through kindergarten, primary as well as secondary school like anyone else did, and currently i have just graduate with merit in my diploma...oh ya, im doing accouting course, sound kinda unbelievable a little i bit i guess, coz lots of ppl say my face doesn't match v the course im taking currently. haha...

besides that, i am very huge and crazy fan of Avril Lavigne, who inspires me the most all these years and played quite essential role in my life beside my parents and friends. Once, i am a girl with shattering confidence that i don't even dare to mix around with people as i was afraid, as there was a sense of fear inside which cause me to turn into introvert virtually til i found Avril's existence. Her songs started to inspire me and that was the moment when i start to regain my level of confidence in life to begin my journey. Yeah yeah!!! {the reason to my craziness about Avril} Hope those who wonder why i love her so much could know W-H-Y...LOLzzz

Lastly, i would like to dedicate this beautiful song 'HERE I AM' by Peggy:

They tell you a good girl is quiet,
that you should never ask why
Cause it only makes it harder to fit in
You should be happy, excited
Even if you're just invited
Cause the winners need someone to clap for them

It's so hard just waiting in a line that never moves
It's time you started making your own rules

[Chorus:]
You gotta scream until there's nothin' left
With your last breath
So here I am, here I am
Make'em listen
'Cause there is no way you'll be ignored
Not anymore
So here I am, here I am
Here I am
Here I am

You only get one life to work it, so who cares if it's not perfect
I say it's close enough to perfect for me
Why should you hide from the thunder, and the lightning that you're under
Cause there ain't nobody else you want to be

If how your living isn't working, there's one thing that will help
You gotta finally just stop searchin'
To find yourself

[Chorus]

The world better make some room
Yea move over, over
Cause your coming through
Cause your coming through

[Chorus]

Here I am